A New Attitude

There's something liberating about aging. I have a newfound sense of confidence since the surreal moment when I realized that I am actually forty. I thought about the petty things that routinely upset me, and realized I have outgrown all of that. The phrase that popped into my head (in the voice of Eddie Murphy's Gumby character from SNL) was, "I'm 40, dammit!"

When I was little, I can remember that my grandmother was in a department store when the elastic in her underwear broke. She was, of course, wearing a dress so the giant granny panties fell straight onto the floor. Without missing a beat, she stepped out of them, bent down to pick them up, and placed them in her purse. There was no blushing or scurrying out of the store. She didn't care what anyone thought. It is what it is; and there were many devastating events she had lived through that were far worse than panties on the floor. She had perspective on things (ok, and she had dementia).

Granted, I'm not quite to that point yet where fallen panties wouldn't turn my cheeks red (all four of them!). However,Im looking forward to that as one of the perks of this downhill glide of the second half of life. I will stop sweating the small stuff. So what if I'm singing in my car and someone sees me at a stoplight? Whoop de do! I remember a time when my mother was my age, and my parents were going out for their anniversary. When they came home later that night she was laughing because she had realized during dinner that she was wearing two different shoes. They were both the white pumps, but definitely not a matching pair. I can remember thinking how mortified that would be if it were me, and how relieved I was that I had not been with them. Now, I'm seeing the humor in this. She was forty, dammit!